Japan: replacing a vacuum cleaner

So I went to Yamada Labi to exchange my faulty vacuum cleaner. I think I confused the sales assistant by asking her if she was English, as opposed to whether she spoke English. Soon enough she found someone that did speak English, an aged Japanese gentleman with slick grey hair. I explained that the vacuum cleaner had "popped" and then stopped working. For a moment I thought I had told him that my family had died as he was very apologetic, bowed almost 90 degrees and kept saying "beg your pardon, beg your pardon" as if he had snuck in to my house overnight to kill my vacuum cleaner and had been caught red handed. Eventually he led me to a sales desk where I waited a good 15 minutes for him to re-appear with some bad news. The vacuum cleaner was out of stock and it would take 2 weeks to replace. He could tell by my reaction this had upset me, and after a hushed discussion with 4 of his colleagues he returned to proudly announce that they could deliver a replacement to my home within 4 days direct from the manufacturer. 4 days?? My apartment was dirty now, I wasn't prepared to wait, so I came up with the genius idea of asking for store credit so I could pick a similar model and pay/claim the difference. Now, I've read in guide books that the Japanese like their processes, and that you'll struggle to get a milkshake with your meal in McDonald's if it's not on the set menu. The way he looked at me was as if I'd asked him to come back to my place and lick the floor clean whilst I waited for a replacement vacuum cleaner. He took a bit of persuading but eventually agreed, after consulting his colleagues.

You can probably imagine what happened next when I asked if I could take the display copy, which seemed in a good enough condition. He looked at me, somewhat perturbed. He packaged it up for me with a very puzzled look on his face, and before this saga could drag on any longer (we're at the 45minute mark around about this point) I left with a vacuum cleaner that worked :-). Phew...

Japan!!!

So, somehow my life has taken a strange twist and deposited me in a 1LDK (thats 1 bedroom + Living Room /Dining Room / Kitchen) in Tokyo. I'm sure there will be many interesting posts to follow.

A familiar face

It’s been a long long loooong time since I last blogged.  That’s all I have to say :o)

Hmm, what to choose...

Subtle hint?

On Monday my train was delayed due to a fatality at Streatham.
On Tuesday my train was delayed due to a fatality at Kingston.
Today it's closer to home, fatality at Basingstoke, which is where I work, and I can see the police cordon out the window from my desk. Is someone trying to tell me something?

Recycling

You know how when a household product like detergent or something is running low, you unscrew the lid and top it up with a bit of water to make it last that little bit longer? Well Flash are bastards. Their Orange Degreasing Spray has an "anti child" cap which locks once screwed on. All I can do is watch in vain as I cannot spray the last precious few drops. More money for them I suppose.

Paignton

Each day I take the Paignton train to work (stalkers have your pens at the ready), which arrives there 100 or so years later. I only go as far as Basingstoke, anything the train does after that is black magic, but I've become rather curious as to what's at the end of the line. I've conquered Brighton, Bournemouth and Portsmouth, however I feel a visit to Poole and Paignton might be in order. Also Andover (which HAS to be pronounced with a farmer's accent) sounds like another must at only 15 minutes away.

Paignton is in Cornwall, the land of funny names like Truro, Torquay and other places beginning with T. Take Torquay for example, pronounced Tor-kee. It's just Turkey with a silly accent! Perhaps a herd of drunk Turks-men came to England in the early 1700s and named the South West of England. It's all possible!

Incidentally, today is also the day I asked for...I demanded a pay rise. Naturally I threatened to hand in my notice, I eagerly await the results. I've calculated that on a scale of 1 - 10 (10 being easy peasy), I would rate 3 on how easy it would be to replace me.

So horny

Today's the day my credit card balance reached £69.69. Complete coincidence, although doesn't help me trying to take my mind off sex. Especially after the weekend I've had *innocent face*

Almost dead

Well, not quite. I've been knocked down by illness this weekend, and have had to cancel plans. Ok, to be honest I had nothing planned for this weekend, but I was really looking forward to a cosy weekend to myself (it's been a while). As sod's law has it, I've almost made a full recovery, just in time for work tomorrow morning, although I don't want to be perfectly healthy for tomorrow. It's all about giving the right impression. I must be slightly snotty and have puffy eyes so that what would normally be seen as commuting into work, will be seen as me giving blood to my company and could result in great sympathy from my manager and before you know it I'm working from home for a week :o) yippeee!

The night I opened my Jamie Oliver cook book

Yawn

So, I've lost my voice. I think it was a night of clubbing (and shouting) followed by 3 hours on the phone Sunday night and then a whole day of talking yesterday at a student conference that did it. I have a nice croakey voicemail today :o)

Also I've had a fantastic 24 hours with Emma, but I shall muse upon that later. I have 40 emails to filter through this morning *yawn*

PAT test

The grinch just came to give my laptop the famous PAT test.  "It's a waste of time and money" he grumbled, and left me in a huff of smoke, cigarette smoke.  So I just won't bother next time.

Woo

So I went out last night. 100 greatest dance floor fillers at the London Astoria. Yup, Britney was number 1 with Toxic. Which brings me on to mother's day. It only comes once a year but it's less painful to do something for a few hours than forget.

You've just got to love Red Dwarf, the English pleb version of Star Trek. Kryten: "I'm afraid the nearest planet is 6 hours away and we only have enough fuel for 5 hours flight, I don't think that's going to prove to be a major problem though because we only have enough oxygen for 7 minutes".

There's more to come from me but I have to rush out to Argos to purchase some gifts from the laminated book of dreams.

Snow snow go away, it's feckin cold!!!

Following orders

One thing I'm very good at is talking about something I know nothing about, but speaking with full confidence thus giving the impression that I know exactly what I'm on about. I'll be speaking at a public event next week, and I've just been told that company policy requires me to request a PAT test for my laptop before using it in public. How could I forget our good old friend, the PAT test, postman Pat? A pat on the back? Or is it some sort of an endurance test, perhaps someone will come and see if my laptop survives being chucked at a brick wall, stamped on and urinated on? Who knows, but for now my imagination is buzzing.

Please wait

I've been on hold for 15 minutes now listening to karaoke versions of ABBAs greatest hits.  Dancing Queen, Money Money Money and Gimme Gimme Gimme.  It's amazing what it does to the mind. First you start to sway from side to side, in time with the music, then comes the foot tapping, before you know it you're pressed up against your manager shaking that ass!!  But anyway, back to work.

I don't like February!!!

Yesterday was a bad day, I lost count of the number of times I locked myself out of the department (kept leaving my badge on my desk). Furthermore, February having 28 days is really throwing me off this year. It being March 1st now, I keep thinking that the 28th was a few days ago, and have questioned colleagues as to why customer requests from the 28th haven't been looked at yet, only to feel like a fool. Oh well, maybe this week's fire alarm test (due in 30ish minutes) will bring me back to my senses.