Following orders

One thing I'm very good at is talking about something I know nothing about, but speaking with full confidence thus giving the impression that I know exactly what I'm on about. I'll be speaking at a public event next week, and I've just been told that company policy requires me to request a PAT test for my laptop before using it in public. How could I forget our good old friend, the PAT test, postman Pat? A pat on the back? Or is it some sort of an endurance test, perhaps someone will come and see if my laptop survives being chucked at a brick wall, stamped on and urinated on? Who knows, but for now my imagination is buzzing.