Blog On The Bog

Sorry

alone

I remember a thing called love...I think. My heart gets carried away, then they run away. And in this way the circle of life ensures that the happiness and sadness cancel eachother out. Sad moment here, fuelled by the fact that my opening line has reminded me of that song by The Darkness: I believe in a thing called love. It bugged me beyond belief and is now stuck in my head. Damn

P.S. Wendy won

Where have I been today?
Basingstoke
London

Lost soul

Intense moaning and cursing coming from behind the dividing screen on my left. Wendy meets new ordering system: round 1 and fight.

Neither Here Nor There, But Here AND There

There's one sure way of identifying a true home-grown Londoner in a crowd. Ask them how they got there. I was invited/dragged to dinner and re-met Ben (I didn't recognize him with hair, and he didn't seem to remember me). We discussed, in great length, how each of us had traveled there, and then according to the ritual, suggested alternate routes to each other. You'd be surprised at what lengths some of us go to in order to shave a few minutes off the journey time. A friend once visited from the South, and after ice skating we took one bus, two trains and the tube to get to Central London. It took about 35 minutes. The bus was heading to town, but would have taken 50minutes. It may have been more comfortable, but time is money in the capital.

I've started to babble. I went to IKEA. Mr Ikea is a genius; I love wandering through the mockup living rooms and bedrooms. If you think about it it's like a trip to the art gallery, only in this place the souvenirs you take home are mostly useful. But that's the thing about IKEA, dotted around the store is various crap that looks good. Things you happily buy but later realise have no real use, like wobbly orange diamond wine bottle stoppers (I am the proud owner of two, still in the packaging). I have to praise their food, I stocked up on Swedish meatballs, the hotdog's in the Bistro are a bargain, but nothing beats the IKEA in Croydon; the revolving doors, when obstructed, urge you to continue moving; in a voice with a Swedish accent! Genius!

Where have I been today?
London (extreme South)
London (extreme North)
Basingstoke

Optical Confusion

I always get a good chuckle out of the Photoshop Friday challenges at http://www.somethingawful.com/photoshop/ some are plain stupid, but other's are rather clever. Take the Olympic Games challenge where skilled/drunk image editors were asked to come up with olympic events they would like to see. An example of their twisted imagination is included below.


Where have I been today?
London (Sainsbury's)

Count me out!

http://www.busandtube.co.uk A 24 hour commuter strike against public transport? Yes, cos I'm gonna freeze my arse off walking halfway across the south of England to work on a frosty December morning!?!?!

My Shopping List

It's the year 2004. I buy my lunch at the petrol station, christmas presents at the pharmacy, birthday cards from the supermarket and pens from the office (shhh).

Hitler made the front page yesterday. It's been a while since he's done that. The Discovery Channel have recreated him in order to demonstrate what the world could have been like had the war ended differently. I probably wouldn't be sitting here so I'm going to contribute to the documentary and disappear...

But first: I went out with Alex last night (bless his little soul) and I met this guy in a bar who was 17 and extremely drunk. His friends didn't want to acknowledge him and everyone else was having a hard time trying not to notice him. We spoke for a bit; unsurprisingly he was single, and the conversation flowed in one direction with me finding it hard to get a word in. I couldn't tell whether he was enjoying himself or trying to cover up his loneliness with a few cheap jokes and insane laughter. I should draw up a list of questions to ask a mad man, just in case I ever bump into one again. What would you ask a mad person if you had the chance?

Where have I been today?
London (Oxford Street & Tottenham Court Road)

Farewell young friend

Don't you just love it when someone leaves the office? Everyone's socialising, reminiscing over the happy memories of the years gone by. I think today is the first time I've spoken to half of the people here; silent faces I see day after day. But we got cake and biscuits. It's nice that she's leaving, but obviously I'm sad to see her go. I reckon we should have farewell parties with the frills and allow the person to stay on a bit longer.

Speaking of bright ideas, I had another great one on the train this morning but I've forgotten. It was one of those small things which could make a huge difference, like putting a light bulb in a fridge. Seems obvious, but I reckon the first fridges didn't have lightbulbs. How amazing would it be to meet the guy who turned round and said "let's put a light bulb in a fridge". I'd like to be that guy; I'd like to revolutionise my own fridge.

This little distraction went round work today:
http://adverts.freeloader.com/zurich
hours of fun.

Where have I been today?
London
Basingstoke

A Silver Shower (none of that golden malarky)

I was representing my company last night. I spat in someone's face! Accidentally of course. My mouth had dried up after 2 hours of boasting what "we" could offer and a piece of saliva shot out and perched itself upon the forehead of the lady standing in front of me, who was actually really engaged in what I was saying. Everybody saw, and she overtly wiped it off. How's that for a first post? I've set the standard for many more to come.

Where have I been today?
Manchester
Stockport
London